Start Today — What Bitcoin Taught Me About Shame and Missed Opportunities
The first time I got the itch to buy bitcoin was 2nd January, 2018. I only know the specific date because I found it in my reminders (shoutout digital hoarding). More importantly, the price of bitcoin was a measly $13,337 at the time. If I had bought just $1000 of the digital currency back then, it would be worth $3260 today, more than 3x the initial value. Put in context, the stock market’s average annual return is about 10%. Bitcoin’s average growth in the 3 years since 2018 is more than 10 times the market average. One problem with all these fun calculations — I didn’t buy a cent of bitcoin in 2018.
The second time I got really curious about Bitcoin was early in 2020. On April 29th, I reached out to a finance expert to learn more about crypto. They shared a consultation link with me, at a $25 hourly fee. I dawdled over spending the money and eventually forgot about the consultation. Bitcoin had actually fallen to $8773 at that point, so the same $1000 invested then would have netted me $5,410 today. So basically, I lost out on $4000+ profit to save $25. Another moment in time, another potential fortune flushed down the drain.
Me dividing $4000 by $25
The funny thing is, I didn’t delay because I was unsure about bitcoin. The real reason I dawdled is because I was ashamed. At each interval, I would think of the bitcoin price the last time I had considered buying, and berate myself for how big an opportunity I had wasted. Then I would start feeling like it was too late, that I had already missed the boat. Something curious would happen in these instances — I wouldn’t pull the trigger, time would keep moving forward, and inevitably, the price would rise yet again. Then bitcoin would hit yet another record high, the missed opportunity would slap me in the face, and the merry-go-round of shame would gear up for another spin.
But this isn’t really about bitcoin. It’s about time, opportunity and shame. It’s about snapchat resurfacing an old picture of you at the beach, reminding you of a time when you could whip off your shirt without hesitation. It’s about all the past “I’ll hit the gym tomorrow” declarations that the memory triggers and the realisation that if you’d started then, you’d be so much fitter now. It’s about the sigh of resignation with which you go back to scrolling through Snapchat stories, not even bothering to tell yourself that you’ll be back in the gym tomorrow. At the core, this article is about any moment where yesterday’s missed opportunities blind you to today’s possibilities and tomorrow’s rewards.
So how do we break the cycle of shame, and prevent today’s chances from becoming tomorrow’s regrets? In my experience, the first step is to forgive yourself. No matter how big or life-changing yesterday’s opportunity could have been, two things are true. The first is that it’s in the past and you can’t get it back. The second is that more opportunities lie up ahead. The second fact is more important, because you don’t want to spend so much time lamenting what could have been that you end up missing what could be. It’s not always the easiest thing to do, but try to forgive yourself and look ahead for the next chance.
The second step is to do better. It sounds obvious enough, but it’s worth mentioning. Because it’s one thing to recognise the pattern that prevented you from accessing opportunities in the past, and another thing to act on that knowledge. No matter your situation, there’s one thing that helps with doing better — starting today. The reason “I’ll start on Monday” and “New Year, New Me” often end up being pipe dreams is that your hourglass of motivation starts from the moment you make a decision. Each minute you fail to act only drains the hourglass, until you have no sand left. The easiest way to avoid running out of motivation is to quickly follow decisions with actions that build up to your goal.
Your Motivation Hourglass
It doesn’t matter how small the action is. Just do it today. For me, the action was downloading a crypto trading app and investing my first $250. For you, it might be writing the first page of your novel, or researching GRE classes to kickstart your journey to grad school. If you can’t figure out what that first step should be, here’s a quick guide to help you get started on your goals.
Last year at Christmas, my younger brother asked me a question that made me pause and think — “if you had the chance, what would you say to yourself 5 years ago?” Still plagued with regret from my missed opportunities, my answer was simple: “buy Bitcoin. But like I said, this isn’t really about bitcoin. So if he asked me again today, I’d tell my past self these two words instead — start today.
